We all try to be tolerant of the quirks of other people in this world. Sometimes, we may have to go along to get along, if that doesn't compromise our own principles. We certainly have foibles of our own. But do you really want to find out in Heaven that nobody cried at your funeral, except over the bereft children you left behind?
Degrees of social irresponsibility can reach charged levels of irritation with the potential for social and business flare-ups. Some reasons are:
You don't carry your own weight at the office. You try to get someone else to do your work while you spend half the day on personal phone calls, instant messaging or flitting around the office or shop, interrupting other people. Presumably, these are people who have their own work to do. The rest of us refer to you as teacher's pet but still haven't figured out why management lets you get away with it. Are you blackmailing them, princess?
You infuriate and embarrass other people. You relate on a daily basis the intimate details of your family's melodramas and worse. Then you get on the phone and call every relative and old friend you know and repeat the same stories to each one of them. This takes up a minimum of three hours of company time every single day. Again, we haven't figured out why management lets you get away with this shoddy work ethic. Do your parents belong to the same church or synagogue as your boss's boss?
You bathe once a week, whether you need it or not. This one should be a no-brainer. Did your mother or caregiver or junior grade teacher not instruct you in the mechanics of basic hygiene? This includes washing your underarms and crotch area a couple of times a day -- with soap -- and washing your entire body at least once a day. It also includes brushing your teeth two or three times a day - with toothpaste -- or at least rinsing with mouthwash. Certain medications can cause major bad breath and body odor but you can at least make an effort to control your aroma. Management usually won't touch this one with a 20-foot pole. Do yourself a favor before a coworker puts a hygiene kit for the homeless on your desk. Yes, it can get that bad.
Your work area attracts vermin. This can be anything from ants to cockroaches to rats! Yes, rats in a beautiful office building. Facilities Department has to call an exterminator team, while freaked-out coworkers stand on their desks screaming at rats running a steeplechase down the longest aisle. Do you know fast an excited rat can run, even when it's coming right at you? Have you seen how long their teeth are? Give the rest of us a break, please. Clean up your mess and eat in the lunchroom.
Your diet consists of garlic and onions - morning, noon and night. Yes, we know garlic in particular stays in the bloodstream for at least 24 hours, but please don't keep feeding on it. We also realize this may be a cultural thing and sometimes a health nut habit. But when you're working with a bunch of pasty-faced Anglos who live on Cream of Wheat®, bananas and cinnamon rolls, you might want to leave the garlic and onions for dinner at home on Friday and Saturday night.
On the brighter side, your passing may leave a huge hole for all of the right reasons. These include:
You are your own person. You don't pay much attention to the dumber peer pressures in their many forms, including fashion fads, garbage TV shows, and so forth. Plus, your manager won't gag when she has to dump the porn magazines and the alcohol out of your desk drawer, if routine inspections didn't already get you fired for having them on the premises.
You play by the office political rules - only if it makes sense to do so, and especially to protect those depending on you. You try to be polite and diplomatic and not to step on other people's turf, but you don't kiss butt - ever.
You value your integrity. You don't spend hours of your employer's time on personal projects for the PTA, your Sunday School class, etc. You don't make dozens of photocopies on your employer's copier, unless employees have the owner's permission to pay the secretary for them.
You don't make everyone else feel guilty. You don't always arrive before the boss does. She practically sleeps on an army cot at the office after all. You're even 5 minutes late some days due to traffic nightmares or upchucking from stress. But by golly, 95% of the time they can find you at your desk working when you should be.
You answer employee surveys truthfully. You do this, even if you don't believe the answers will remain anonymous. Some people don't know how to put their money where their mouth is or how to stop complaining. You explain the concept of "put up or shut up". And of course, you are passed over for promotion.
Thanks from the rest of the crew!
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